NMT Project

Sara is a Muslim woman who has endured ten years of abuse. But above all, she is a survivor. Sara’s husband would beat her so badly she was unable to go anywhere. He refused to allow her to even go outside for two months. He would not allow her to have any friends. In fact, Sara has never invited anyone to her home. Her husband monitored all her phone calls allowing only 30 minutes per month; each call was strictly supervised.
When she came to this country, she barely spoke English. Despite her husband’s wishes, Sara managed to become fluent in English and earn a GED. She was able to attend community college, and now is midway through a doctorate at a local university.
Sara’s husband believes that women do not have any reason to become educated. He accuses Sara of being a bad wife and mother for allowing her children to go to after-care when she has class or needs to study. Unfortunately, the abuse did not stop with insults and degradation. Daily beatings were the norm. It was not uncommon for him to pull her by the hair so hard that chunks of hair were ripped from her scalp.
Until late November of this year, Sara had told no one about the abuse. She has no family here to help her but she wants to make a new life for herself and her children. She needs money to pay for basic necessities such as groceries, toiletries, and clothes for her kids.

I met with a woman last week that was referred to No More Tears for help. The woman, let’s call her Kathy, since I can’t use her real name to protect her identity, was perhaps the strongest person I have ever met in my life.

Kathy’s struggles began as a child because she lived with extremely abusive parents. She was baffled as she told me how a mother is supposed to love her children and encourage them to achieve great things in life, but Kathy was unfortunate and did not receive any encouragement, just beatings on a daily basis.

Kathy married a man that abused her physically and verbally. Her first born from her husband was abused since he was a child as well. Kathy remarried a pastor and a correctional officer whom she believed would never hurt her. It turned out that he was more abusive than her first husband.

It amazes me that a person can endure so much pain and still smile. Kathy was optimistic when she walked in my door. She said she was happy to meet with me and any little help would mean a great deal to her. I realized that Kathy yearned for someone to listen to her. We met again and she spoke for hours as I listened to everything she had been carrying with her since she was a child.

Kathy has three sons. The 20-year-old is away for college. The other two, 12 and 15 live with Kathy. She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and used to work as a middle school teacher for eight years. No More Tears will help Kathy find a job and until she does, help her in any way we can. I gave Kathy a ride home to her apartment since she does not have a car. It was a one bedroom, which she has given to her sons while she sleeps on the floor in the living room. Her sons sleep on air mattresses with holes in them. It was all very sad to look at and I know I will think ten times before complaining about something when I think of the way Kathy and her kids are living.

I wanted to share this with all of you since you have too been wonderful supporters of my cause and mission. Keep Kathy in your prayers and hope that from now on her life only consists of good times.